People often talk about the process of packing and getting visas for studying abroad, but not a lot of people talk about their thoughts before arrival. There was a roller coaster of emotions and thoughts racing through my mind before even stepping foot on the plane. The whole time leading up to the departure date knowing I was going to Taiwan for a whole academic year was surreal.
It will happen later. It isn't happening now. I still have lots of time. These are the thoughts that were circling in my head.
I was reminded of the time when I had tried to study abroad in high school and another time with a faculty-led program. Both of those trips I was supposed to go to China but unfortunately, they fell through.
When it was time to choose between China and Taiwan as my country for my program. I chose Taiwan in hopes of being able to go. At first, I tried not to get my hopes high just in case the program was canceled due to COVID-19 or something else unexpected. However, this mindset got me nowhere. I was sick of not letting myself feel excited so I changed my point of view. Every day I wished, prayed, and worked hard to be able to go to Taiwan. I had a feeling this would not be like the other times I tried to study abroad; this time it really was going to happen.
The weeks before leaving for Taiwan I was hit by many emotions. At night sadness would come over me. I would not be able to spend the holidays with my family or see my friends at college who were all on a four-year path to graduation. Sadness turned into nervousness. Am I really ready? I don’t think my Mandarin vocabulary is big enough. Nervousness turned into excitement. What will my roommates be like? What will the campus look like? I can’t wait to try the food and go places! After all those thoughts and emotions in the last few days, I just wanted to be in Taiwan. I was ready to hit the ground running.
Finally, the day came, at the gate with my ticket in hand, going to Taiwan still felt surreal. Everything I had been working so hard towards and planning for years was finally about to happen. I settled into my seat for the 13-hour plane ride with thousands of thoughts jumbled in my head only one thought stood out, I am ready.
